A solicitor has revealed the most stupid things said in court by defendants - including a man who blamed his crime on an ALIEN.
Tim Burrows works for Steve Young & Co and usually defends clients at magistrates courts in Gloucestershire.
He took to Twitter to share some of the bizarre things defendants have said and done in the dock.
The tweeted anecdotes include a fraudster who tried to negotiate a lower fine by offering to pay in cash.
Someone also blamed a broken window on "shape shifting aliens".
Tim wrote: "When being lectured by the Chair of the bench, don't respond "pfft. You need to put some syrup on that waffle''.
He added: "Don't rob a petrol station in the fresh snow and leave your footprints all the way to your front door."
And: "If you've been excused Court to go to yr Dad's funeral, don't get arrested for shoplifting on the day. With your Dad."
Other tweets with the hashtag #freelegaltips included a client who covered his face while running away from police to avoid being identified on CCTV, but knocked himself out running into the camera pole.